An Official Inventory of OG Strain’s Remaining Weed, and Why My House Currently Smells Like a Cannabis Museum

By OG Strain

There comes a time in every cannabis connoisseur’s life when he must do the unthinkable.

Not pay taxes.
Not answer texts from that one guy who always says, “Yo bro, lemme sample that.”
Not even admit he accidentally torched half a blunt because he was too busy watching conspiracy videos about whether squirrels work for the government.

No.

I’m talking about the sacred ritual of conducting a full-blown stash inventory.

After the epic weekend in Palenville at The Growers Gathering, I found myself standing over my stash box like a confused dispensary manager during an audit.

I opened it.

And immediately got hit with enough terpene aroma to make my eyebrows file for workers’ comp.

At that moment, I realized two things:

I have entirely too much weed.
Somehow… still not enough.

So for the good people of The Plug’s Pages, I decided it was time for a full inventory report.

This is not financial advice.

This is not legal advice.

This is simply a public service announcement for anyone wondering what happens when OG Strain says, “I’m just gonna grab one thing.”

Spoiler alert: I never grab one thing.

I leave looking like a cannabis hoarder on an episode of Weed Buried Alive.

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The Elders of the Stash: Buddah Bros

First up, we have the OG survivors.

These strains have been hanging around longer than that one friend who says he’s “about to leave” but somehow is still on your couch three hours later eating your snacks.

Dreamsicle

Still holding strong.

Smooth, flavorful, and honestly smells like if an orange creamsicle got accepted into art school and developed a superiority complex.

Gorilla Breath

This strain still hits like it’s personally offended by your existence.

One pull and suddenly I’m staring at my ceiling trying to remember whether I paid my electric bill in 2024.

Cheese

This one deserves respect.

First of all, naming weed “Cheese” is hilarious.

Nothing says premium cannabis like sounding like something your uncle keeps wrapped in wax paper in the fridge.

“Yo what you smoking?”

“Sharp cheddar, bro.”

Yet somehow this flower is gorgeous.

Cannabis naming conventions remain the greatest mystery known to man.

⸻

The Purple Queen: Stickman Body Care

Now let’s discuss one of my absolute favorites currently in the stash:

Purple Haze

Picked this beauty up at The Growers Gathering.

This flower is so visually stunning it honestly deserves its own security detail.

It looks like it should have a velvet rope around it.

You don’t smoke Purple Haze.

You schedule an appointment with it.

This stuff had me feeling philosophical.

I was outside asking myself deep questions like:

Do fish know they’re wet?

And:

Why do dispensary jars always open louder than a SWAT team breach?

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The Dependable Duo: 4 Acres Farms

Still got:

Blueberry Muffin

This strain smells so good it should legally require nutritional facts.

Every time I open it, my brain gets confused.

Am I about to smoke?

Or am I about to gain 12 pounds?

OG Kush

The Michael Jordan of “I just need something solid.”

No gimmicks.

No weird futuristic name like “Galactic Dolphin Breath 9000.”

Just OG Kush.

Classic.

Reliable.

Like your favorite hoodie.

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Higher Beings Powered by Hudson Valley Green: My Main Plug and My Ongoing Financial Collapse

Let’s just be honest.

At this point, Kevin and Danni should probably be listed as dependents on my tax return.

These folks consistently supply heat so ridiculous that every time I see them, my wallet starts shaking.

Current inventory includes:

Gumbo
Super Buff Cherry
Durban Poison
Frosted Churros
Super Lemon Kush
Delta Diamonds
Grape Truffle
MOB
Penzoil
Pineapple Express
Cheerios

Yes.

Cheerios.

Nothing says “premium exotic cannabis” like sounding like breakfast.

Imagine explaining that to a cop.

“No officer, I’m not impaired. I just smoked a bowl of Cheerios.”

The cold cure rosin situation is equally serious.

I’ve got:

Rainbow Belts
Some glorious peach-flavored dabs
Enough concentrate to make my torch feel overworked and underappreciated

Every dab session now begins with my torch looking at me like:

“Again? Bro, I’m tired.”

⸻

No Mountain Higher: The Plot Twist

Then came Bill from No Mountain Higher.

This man rolled up like cannabis Santa Claus.

Except instead of gifts for children, he brought terpy heat for grown adults with tolerance issues.

He handed me samples of:

Lemon G
ADK Lobster
Sherbtang
Mountain Lobster
PC35
Blueberry Lobster
Big Apple Kush
Blueberry Muffin
Sub Zero

And then casually tossed in some Space Egg Hash, like that’s a totally normal sentence.

“Here’s some Space Egg Hash.”

Sir.

That sounds less like cannabis and more like contraband from Area 51.

So far I’ve tried:

Sub Zero
Big Apple Kush
ADK Lobster
A little of the Space Egg Hash

And I’m here to report:

This is absolutely serious top-shelf smoke.

The wildest part?

Much of this flower is grown outdoors.

OUTDOORS.

Which is honestly disrespectful to half the indoor growers out here charging luxury apartment prices.

This outdoor flower looks so good it has indoor flower checking itself in the mirror asking:

“Am I… enough?”

Bill and the crew at No Mountain Higher are absolutely bringing heavyweight genetics to the table.

Real contender status.

No exaggeration.

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Current State of the Stash

At this point, my stash box has become less of a stash box and more of a cannabis United Nations summit.

Every time I open it, the strains are basically arguing.

Purple Haze is being elegant.

Cheerios is trying to explain why breakfast-themed weed is legitimate.

Space Egg Hash is sitting quietly in the corner looking extraterrestrial.

And Gorilla Breath is just intimidating everybody.

Meanwhile I’m standing there like a proud but overwhelmed father.

⸻

To My Facebook Family

I know I’ve been absent.

And trust me, I miss y’all too.

I haven’t forgotten about the people who supported me, laughed with me, shared my reviews, and rocked with Strain’s Strain Reviews (Talk Cannabis) from day one.

I hope to be back soon.

But until then, if you really want to connect, collaborate, or just keep up with the madness, don’t wait around for Zuckerberg to get his act together.

The summer social calendar is filling up FAST.

The festivals are coming.

The collaborations are stacking.

The smoke is smoking.

And the real ones know where to find me.

Catch me on X (formerly Twitter) @ogstraincontent

The people who really want to build, connect, and collaborate always find a way.

⸻

Follow OG Strain on X: x.com/ogstraincontent

https://youtube.com/@ogstraintheoriginalog

By OG Strain

So by now, everybody’s heard the news—Afroman beat the Adams County Sheriff’s Department in court.

And honestly… I’m not even here to talk about the win.

I’m here to talk about the unintentional comedy special that came with it.

Because let’s be real—this whole situation might be one of the funniest real-life storylines we’ve seen in a long time.

⸻

🍋 The Legend of Officer Poundcake

Let’s start with the man, the myth, the meme…

Officer Poundcake.

Now according to him, life has been so hard since all this happened. He claims people in the community have been sending lemon pound cakes to the police department… daily.

Daily.

And I’m sitting here like…
Hold on—FREE lemon pound cake for life… and you’re COMPLAINING?!

Brother, that’s not harassment. That’s a business opportunity.

At some point you gotta stop crying and start thinking:
👉 “Maybe I should open a bakery?”
👉 “Maybe I should brand this?”
👉 “Maybe I should thank Afroman?”

You could’ve had “Officer Poundcake’s Famous Lemon Loaf” popping off right now.

Instead, you chose to be mad.

That’s the difference between winners and… well… what we’re looking at here.

⸻

😂 The Joke That Could’ve Been Shared

Here’s the crazy part—this whole situation didn’t HAVE to go this way.

If these officers had just done one simple thing:
👉 Laugh at themselves

Everything changes.

Imagine this:
    •    They apologize
    •    They link up with Afroman
    •    They lean into the joke
    •    Maybe even collaborate

Now instead of the world laughing at them…
We’re laughing with them.

That’s how you flip the script.

But nah… ego stepped in.

And when ego takes over, logic leaves the building.

⸻

🖕 Cameras Don’t Lie

And here’s one of the wildest parts of this whole situation that doesn’t get talked about enough…

During the raid, the cops were caught on Afroman’s own security cameras…
flipping him off.

Yeah. Real professional.

Under oath in court, Afroman said they flipped off the cameras—and then disconnected them.

So let’s break that down…
You’re supposed to be conducting a lawful raid…
But you’re flipping off cameras like it’s a high school prank…
Then shutting them off?

And then later, the same officer wants to stand there and claim he’s a “good guy”… a “Christian man.”

Oh, now we’re righteous?

Because last time I checked, flipping someone off while violating their space and then cutting the cameras doesn’t exactly scream Sunday service energy.

And here’s the kicker—
that apology didn’t come until after everything blew up in his face.

Let’s be honest:
If Afroman didn’t fight back…
If there were no songs…
If there was no spotlight…

That apology never happens.

So miss me with the “good guy” routine.

That wasn’t accountability…
That was consequences catching up.

⸻

🎭 Lick’em Low Lisa & The Sensitivity Olympics

Then we got “Lick’em Low Lisa”…

Crying. Emotional. Upset.

And I’m over here thinking—
Wasn’t the whole tough cop image part of the job description?

Because from the outside looking in, this didn’t look tough…
It looked like someone who couldn’t handle the spotlight once it flipped on them.

And let’s be honest—none of this was some shocking reveal.
People already had their opinions, already had their perceptions… this just put a spotlight on it.

But again—it didn’t have to go this way.

A little humor, a little confidence, a little self-awareness…
And suddenly you’re not the punchline anymore.

You’re part of the show.

⸻

💍 The “I Don’t Know” Defense… Really?

And then we get to one of the most unbelievable moments…

Afroman says in a song that a cop’s wife cheated on him…

Now you would THINK the response in court would be simple:
👉 “No. That’s not true.”

Case closed, right?

But instead…

The officer gets on the stand and says:
“I don’t know… why don’t you ask your client.”

Wait… what?!

Now maybe—maybe—he was trying to be sarcastic.
Maybe he meant, “Yeah right, that would never happen.”

But that’s not what came out.

What came out was:
👉 “I don’t know.”

And then even doubling down with something along the lines of:
“I’ve been with her since high school… I’d hope not.”

You’d hope not?!

So now the jury—and everybody watching—is sitting there like…
Hold on…

You don’t even know if it’s true or not…
But you’re mad about it being said?

You didn’t deny it.
You didn’t shut it down.
You basically left the door wide open.

At that point, how are you even arguing defamation?

Because if it was completely false, you say that—firm, clear, no hesitation.

Instead… you gave the most uncertain answer possible.

And in a case like this, that kind of answer?
That’s not helping you…

That’s helping Afroman.

⸻

🧬 And Then… The Lawsuit Gets Even Wilder

And then it gets even better…

Because now it’s not just Officer Poundcake—
it’s his son.

Upset… because he was called bald.

Bald.

Sir… respectfully…
That’s genetics.

That’s not defamation—that’s DNA.

If anything, the only “inaccuracy” was saying receding hairline when we’re clearly dealing with a full evacuation.

Let’s call it what it is.

⸻

⚖️ The System on Display

Now let’s zoom out for a second—because underneath all the comedy, there’s a bigger picture here.

This whole situation exposed something a lot of people already suspected:
    •    Poor judgment
    •    Lack of proper procedure
    •    And a system that sometimes moves off ego instead of facts

They ran up in this man’s house, found nothing…
Then got mad when he turned it into music…
Then lost in court trying to silence him.

That’s not just one loss.

That’s a three-peat.

⸻

🏆 The Three-Time Loss Record

Let’s break it down:
    1.    Raid the house → Find nothing → L
    2.    Get turned into songs & internet jokes → L
    3.    Sue for defamation → Lose in court → L

That’s not a bad day…

That’s a legacy.

⸻

📢 Final Thoughts: Could’ve Been a Win

And here’s the wildest part of all of this…

This could’ve been a success story for everyone involved.

They could’ve:
    •    Owned the moment
    •    Flipped the narrative
    •    Made money
    •    Gained public support

But instead…

They doubled down on negativity—and got negativity right back.

⸻

🎤 OG Strain Closing Statement

At the end of the day, this whole situation proves one thing:

You can take a bad situation and turn it into something positive…

But only if you’re smart enough to do it.

And unfortunately…

Not everybody is.

So now, instead of being respected…

They’ll forever be known as:
“Officer Poundcake”
“Lick’em Low Lisa”

And the department that took three straight L’s.

And honestly?

That might be the funniest part of all. 🔥

By OG Strain – Humor Section, The Plug’s Pages Magazine

Everybody who smokes weed is not a connoisseur.

Just because you smoke all day doesn’t make you an expert. That just makes you committed. There’s a difference.

In the same way every drunk ain’t a wine connoisseur… some people just grab the cheapest bottle with a twist cap and call it a celebration.

A connoisseur? That’s a different breed.

So how do you know?

Well…

You might be a cannabis connoisseur if…

• You wake up in the morning excited — not because of work, not because of money… but because it’s time for that wake-and-bake.
• Your favorite part of the day is coffee in one hand and cannabis in the other… and you treat that combo like a religious ceremony.
• At any given moment, you have 10 or more strains in your stash — and they’re not just thrown in a drawer like loose socks.
• You have them categorized like a dispensary menu: “Daytime,” “Nighttime,” “Creative,” “Movie Night,” “Don’t Text Your Ex,” etc.
• You research a strain like you’re writing a college thesis before you buy it. THC percentage, terpene profile, lineage, breeder history… you know more about that strain than your own family tree.
• You don’t just walk in and say, “Gimme whatever’s cheap.” Quality over quantity. Every time.
• Money isn’t the main question. The real question is, “Is it top shelf?”
• Your stash comes from multiple growers — and you know exactly who grew what, how it was cured, and why it smokes better than the last batch.
• You’ve had flower stuck to your beard, your hoodie, and somehow your elbow… and you didn’t even question how it got there.
• Your ashtray is overflowing with roaches… and not a single cigarette butt in sight.
• You’ve followed your nose in the woods thinking you found a hidden grow… and it turned out to be a skunk. You still respected it though.
• April 20th isn’t just a date. It’s your Super Bowl.
• You’ve rolled up joints specifically for a beach day like you were packing rations for a survival mission.
• You named one dog Dutchess and the other Indica… and yes, before you ask, that was actually my son Jake’s doing — those were the first two dogs he ever owned. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the dispensary.
• Every budtender or plug greets you like family. “Ahhh, I knew you’d be back.”
• Your non-smoking friends don’t even associate cannabis with cannabis anymore… they associate it with YOU.
• If someone says, “Does anyone know about weed?” the whole room turns and looks at you.
• You’ve corrected someone’s pronunciation of “terpenes” without hesitation.
• You’ve said the phrase, “It’s the cure that really matters,” at least 15 times in one week.
• You’ve rejected perfectly good weed because it “didn’t burn white.”
• You’ve ever sniffed a jar, nodded slowly, and said, “Yeah… that’s got a nice nose on it,” like you’re judging a wine competition.
• You’ve described weed as having “notes of citrus with a peppery exhale and a smooth finish” and meant every word of it.
• You’ve planned your entire evening around what strain you’re smoking.
• You don’t just smoke — you EXPERIENCE.

Now let’s be clear…

There’s a difference between a weed snob and a cannabis connoisseur.

A snob brags.
A connoisseur appreciates.

A snob looks down on people.
A connoisseur educates them… then hands them something better.

Being a connoisseur isn’t about how much you smoke.
It’s about how much you care.

So if reading this made you laugh…
If you felt personally attacked…
If you looked at your 12 jars while nodding your head…

Congratulations.

You just might be a cannabis connoisseur.

— OG Strain
Strain’s Strain Reviews (Talk Cannabis)
Humor Section – The Plug’s Pages Magazine 🌿🔥