HOW OG STRAIN REVIEWS CANNABIS

A Masterclass in Sniffing, Staring, and Getting (Responsibly) Baked

By OG Strain — Strain’s Strain Reviews (Talk Cannabis)

When people ask me, “OG Strain, how do YOU review cannabis so well?”
I laugh, because really, all I’m doing is following a scientific, highly researched, expertly calibrated process…
Step 1: I look at the weed.
Step 2: I smell the weed.
Step 3: I smoke the weed.
Step 4: I keep smoking the weed until I know what’s going on.

That’s it. That’s the formula. But since y’all want the details, let me break down the art of cannabis reviewing — OG Strain style.

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1. LOOK AT IT — Because First Impressions Matter

The first thing I do when I review a strain is stare at it like it owes me money.

I’m checking:
    •    What color are the hues?
    •    Are the hairs bright orange, deep red, blonde, or looking like they just woke up late for work?
    •    Are there lots of trichomes?
    •    Does the bud look dense, fluffy, or like it was raised on creatine?

This is the part where you treat the nug like a piece of art.
Because let me tell you — some strains out here look like Michelangelo carved them himself…
Others look like someone mowed down a meadow and threw it in a jar.

You never know until you look.

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2. SMELL IT — But Don’t Just Sniff the Bag

Everybody wants to stick their face in the bag and take a big ol’ WHOOF.
But listen… that’s amateur hour.

If you want the real terpene experience, you gotta crack the bud open and smell the inside. That’s where the magic lives.

When I’m sniffing a strain, I ask the important questions:
    •    Is it gassy like it wants to fight me?
    •    Is it fruity like it belongs in a smoothie?
    •    Is it vanilla, earthy, piney, or musty like an old basement where hazes like to hide?
    •    Does it smell like someone sprayed Febreze on a skunk? (This is a valid category.)

Terpenes tell a story — and I like to read that story with my nose.

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3. TASTE IT — Because the Nose Might Be a Liar

After smelling it, I light it up and ask,
“Does it taste like it smelled… or is this strain lying to me?”

Sometimes the flavor matches perfectly.
Sometimes it tastes completely different.
Sometimes you take a hit and go,
“Why does this taste like chocolate? Who authorized this?”

That’s part of the adventure.

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4. SMOKE UNTIL THE TRUTH REVEALS ITSELF

This is where the “science” gets serious.

I smoke a bowl…
Then another bowl…
Then another bowl…

Not because I want to — but because I have a responsibility to the community.
This is journalism.
This is sacrifice.
This is… research.

While I’m floating away like a helium balloon, I start asking the real review questions:
    •    Am I tired?
    •    Am I energized?
    •    Am I relaxed?
    •    Am I anxious?
    •    Do I suddenly want to reorganize my whole house?
    •    Do I want to fall asleep in the snack aisle at Walmart?

These questions tell me exactly what the strain is doing.

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5. Final Thoughts — 11 Months In

I’ve only been reviewing cannabis strains for 11 months, but honestly?
I’ve improved a LOT.
My nose is sharper, my palate is better, my tolerance is questionable, and my comedic timing is elite.

But most importantly, I’ve learned how to give people real reviews that are:
✔ Honest
✔ Educational
✔ Entertaining
✔ And sprinkled with just enough 420 humor to keep the sesh fun

Because cannabis reviewing isn’t just about weed — it’s about connecting with the people who love it.

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OG’S MESSAGE TO THE READERS

If you want to review cannabis like OG Strain, here’s your homework:
Look at it.
Smell it.
Taste it.
Smoke it until you know the truth.

And whatever you do…
Have fun with it.
Cannabis reviewing should feel like a good sesh with the homies — not a science exam.

Stay lifted, stay laughing, and stay tuned.
Your boy OG Strain will be back with more reviews, more heat, and more strains that may or may not taste like chocolate blueberries with a hint of lemon zest.