By OG Strain – Humor Section, The Plug’s Pages Magazine

Everybody who smokes weed is not a connoisseur.

Just because you smoke all day doesn’t make you an expert. That just makes you committed. There’s a difference.

In the same way every drunk ain’t a wine connoisseur… some people just grab the cheapest bottle with a twist cap and call it a celebration.

A connoisseur? That’s a different breed.

So how do you know?

Well…

You might be a cannabis connoisseur if…

• You wake up in the morning excited — not because of work, not because of money… but because it’s time for that wake-and-bake.
• Your favorite part of the day is coffee in one hand and cannabis in the other… and you treat that combo like a religious ceremony.
• At any given moment, you have 10 or more strains in your stash — and they’re not just thrown in a drawer like loose socks.
• You have them categorized like a dispensary menu: “Daytime,” “Nighttime,” “Creative,” “Movie Night,” “Don’t Text Your Ex,” etc.
• You research a strain like you’re writing a college thesis before you buy it. THC percentage, terpene profile, lineage, breeder history… you know more about that strain than your own family tree.
• You don’t just walk in and say, “Gimme whatever’s cheap.” Quality over quantity. Every time.
• Money isn’t the main question. The real question is, “Is it top shelf?”
• Your stash comes from multiple growers — and you know exactly who grew what, how it was cured, and why it smokes better than the last batch.
• You’ve had flower stuck to your beard, your hoodie, and somehow your elbow… and you didn’t even question how it got there.
• Your ashtray is overflowing with roaches… and not a single cigarette butt in sight.
• You’ve followed your nose in the woods thinking you found a hidden grow… and it turned out to be a skunk. You still respected it though.
• April 20th isn’t just a date. It’s your Super Bowl.
• You’ve rolled up joints specifically for a beach day like you were packing rations for a survival mission.
• You named one dog Dutchess and the other Indica… and yes, before you ask, that was actually my son Jake’s doing — those were the first two dogs he ever owned. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the dispensary.
• Every budtender or plug greets you like family. “Ahhh, I knew you’d be back.”
• Your non-smoking friends don’t even associate cannabis with cannabis anymore… they associate it with YOU.
• If someone says, “Does anyone know about weed?” the whole room turns and looks at you.
• You’ve corrected someone’s pronunciation of “terpenes” without hesitation.
• You’ve said the phrase, “It’s the cure that really matters,” at least 15 times in one week.
• You’ve rejected perfectly good weed because it “didn’t burn white.”
• You’ve ever sniffed a jar, nodded slowly, and said, “Yeah… that’s got a nice nose on it,” like you’re judging a wine competition.
• You’ve described weed as having “notes of citrus with a peppery exhale and a smooth finish” and meant every word of it.
• You’ve planned your entire evening around what strain you’re smoking.
• You don’t just smoke — you EXPERIENCE.

Now let’s be clear…

There’s a difference between a weed snob and a cannabis connoisseur.

A snob brags.
A connoisseur appreciates.

A snob looks down on people.
A connoisseur educates them… then hands them something better.

Being a connoisseur isn’t about how much you smoke.
It’s about how much you care.

So if reading this made you laugh…
If you felt personally attacked…
If you looked at your 12 jars while nodding your head…

Congratulations.

You just might be a cannabis connoisseur.

— OG Strain
Strain’s Strain Reviews (Talk Cannabis)
Humor Section – The Plug’s Pages Magazine 🌿🔥

By OG Strain

There is a universal experience in cannabis culture that nobody talks about enough—probably because it hurts too much.

It starts innocent.
Peaceful.
Joyful.

You’re hanging out, laughing, vibing, talking weed like civilized adults. Then someone casually drops the words that make every terp lover’s heart flutter:

“Yo… you wanna do a dab?”

Now hold on.
Let’s pause right there.

Because when I hear that, my soul prepares itself. My taste buds stand at attention. I’m expecting flavor. Terpenes. A moment. A ceremony. Dabbing isn’t just consumption—it’s an event. It’s why concentrates exist. Nobody is dabbing to not taste anything. That’s insane behavior.

So naturally, I say yes.

Then… they walk away.

They come back.

And suddenly I’m staring at a dab rig that looks like it was used to summon demons in 2017 and never recovered.

A banger so chazzed it has layers. Geological layers. Archaeologists could carbon-date the scorch marks. I’ve seen barbecue grills cleaner than this thing. I’m not even sure it’s quartz anymore. It might be obsidian. Or a cursed artifact.

And just like that—the dream dies.

See, here’s the thing people forget:
Most concentrates are sitting at 4% terpenes or more. That’s the entire point. Dabbing is about flavor. If flower is a good song on the radio, dabs are the live concert with surround sound.

So what exactly are you tasting through a blackened, burnt, traumatized banger?

Because it’s not limonene.
It’s not gas.
It’s not fruit.

It’s burnt disappointment with notes of ashtray and poor life choices.

And what really sends me spiraling is this:
How is it 2026, and some of y’all still act like cleaning a banger is advanced rocket science?

A four-dollar box of Q-tips.
A bottle of 91% isopropyl alcohol.
Thirty seconds. Maybe forty if you’re high-high.

That’s it.

Dip. Swab. Respect the glass. Move on with your life.

I’ve had the same banger for over a year. It still looks brand new. Why? Because I clean it like a grown adult who understands that flavor is sacred. And yes, most of my glass has been budget glass—but I take care of it. That way, when I upgrade to quality American-made pieces, I already know how to treat them properly.

And trust me, that upgrade is coming. I need to link up with Paul Vidal at Goats of Glass, because I want rigs that perform. I want American-made glass. I want my terp pearls spinning like they’re auditioning for Cirque du Soleil. I want heat retention, flavor preservation, glow-in-the-dark wizardry—whatever they’re cooking up these days.

But here’s the part that needs to be said clearly, loudly, and for everyone:

If you are going to bring up dabs…
If you are going to offer dab hits…
If you are going to present yourself as “the dab person” in the room…

Your rig cannot look like it survived a house fire.

That’s not an invitation. That’s a warning.

Look, I’m a nice guy. I don’t yell at people. I don’t flip tables. But inside? Inside I am screaming. Because nothing hurts more than getting hyped for a dab and realizing you’re about to run premium terpenes through a flavor-murdering crime scene.

And before anyone says, “Well, it still gets you high”—
Congratulations. So does eating food off a dirty plate. That doesn’t mean you should do it.

So please—this is my public service announcement:

If you refuse to clean your banger…
If you refuse to clean your rig…
If you insist on living that chazzed-up lifestyle…

Stop offering people dab hits.

Keep that situation private.
Handle that at home.
Do not involve guests.

Because when you ask someone if they want a dab, you’re not just offering THC—you’re offering an experience. And if that experience includes burnt quartz, dead terps, and sadness?

That’s not hospitality.
That’s chaos.

And as OG Strain, I cannot—and will not—stand for it.

We threw down the gauntlet. I posted to The Plug’s Pages and Talk Cannabis Facebook groups and asked the hard-hitting question: Flower or dabs — which one gets the crown? And boy did the internet (and our cannabis community) respond. After tallying reactions — likes = flower and hearts = dabs — it turns out we had ourselves a 5:1 flower-to-dab ratio in our own OG Strain online study. Yep — flower is still king in our world.

But what about the wider cannabis universe? Let’s break it down with science, stats, and straight-up real people quotes — because this debate deserves the full sesh.

⸻

So What Does the World Say?

Turns out our Facebook groups weren’t alone in loving flower. Multiple surveys show that cannabis fans tend to prefer flower over concentrated forms like dabs. In one study, around 78% of cannabis consumers said they preferred flower over concentrates when given both options.  

Another industry report found flower remains the most widely used form of cannabis, with the majority of users still choosing bud as their go‑to.  

Even when folks have tried dabs — with about **58% of respondents reporting they’d given them a shot — overall long‑term preference still leaned toward flower’s chill vibes.  

So yeah — our Facebook data wasn’t a fluke. The people have spoken: flower rules the roost.

⸻

Why Does Flower Still Win?

Let’s get nerdy for a second (but not too nerdy — this is the humor section, after all).

📈 Flower for the win because it’s familiar, versatile, and, according to research, more often chosen for positive effects like relaxation and coping compared to dabs.  

Meanwhile, dabs — although way more potent — tend to be used more out of curiosity or experimentation rather than as a first choice every time.  

So the crowd isn’t necessarily anti‑dab… they’re just saying, “Hey, sometimes you want a smooth pull, not a rocket launch to Mars.”

⸻

Real Talk From Real People

Some folks didn’t just vote — they left comments, and I promised to quote them, so here we go:

💬 Melissa Dopp summed it up like a true diplomat of dank:

“I like both flower and dabs.”
That’s the kind of unbiased opinion we see in the academy awards of weed debates. (Melissa, you get the People’s Choice Stoner Award.) 🍃❤️

And then there’s Jason J. Longhi, keeping it classy and medical‑minded:

“I prefer flower since I’m also a cigarette smoker. The flower is easier on my lungs. I do love a great edible as well. I really love Frost Banger from 420 Fast Buds. It’s great smooth smoke and it helps my medical needs as well.”

Jason’s comment is basically the cannabis version of “I like my coffee black but cappuccinos are cool too.” — smooth, thoughtful, and appreciative of a good product.

⸻

Flower: The Swiss Army Knife of Cannabis

Let’s be honest — flower is like that dependable friend who always shows up. It’s good by itself, it pairs well with others (dab rigs, bongs, joints, vaporizers — you name it), and it rarely steals your hoodie without asking.

Meanwhile, dabs are like that friend who shows up on a motorcycle with a leather jacket and leaves you wondering, “Wait… where did my tolerance go?”

Both have their place. Both have their fans. But when it comes to preference, comfort, culture, and overall vibes — cannabis flower still got that crown tucked behind its ear. 🍁👑

⸻

Final Puff

So where does that leave us? In both our OG Strain crowd and the wider cannabis community, flower wins by a comfortable margin — with a majority preferring it over dabs. But don’t count out concentrates forever. They’re potent, they’re fun, and they definitely have a place in the lineup.

Bottom line: if flower and dabs were in a boxing ring… flower would win on points, and dabs would knock you right the hell out — but only after you asked it politely to go easy.

Stay lifted, stay laughing, and keep sharing your opinions — because this debate isn’t going anywhere. 🍃🔥